I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
