im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
