Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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