I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Welp...herpes.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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