can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize