Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
