I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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