I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
