you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
