Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
