So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
