Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
