WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
