Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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