we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
