Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
