too bad you live with your parents still
one might say we're banned from that church
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
