I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Alive.
So much puke
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
