who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just forgot I was standing up.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
