i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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