I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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