her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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