We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
