It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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