I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
