Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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