heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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