I think scott just propositioned me for sex
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
