Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
