What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
