Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
