TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i believe in u and ur pee
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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