Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
