you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
