My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
