so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
