oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
