new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
