Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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