Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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