he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize