and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Randomize
