New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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