One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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