At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize