just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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