My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
