she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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