There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize