Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
