I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
