you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
