We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize