I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize