i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
