my sisters under your porch take her home
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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