So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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