Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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