Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
