escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
