she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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