I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
