And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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