Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
one might say we're banned from that church
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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