we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
