Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
