wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
